Footloose (1984): Absurd Analysis

Teen millworkers of the world, unite!

By: Jay

Baconista: n., A dance, dance revolutionary.

Footloose is fabulously absurd: a butt-cut Kevin Bacon is swept up into a revolution that overthrows church and state. However, this is no classical union of the proletariat: this is a revolution fueled by music. The Beatles? The Sex Pistols? Metal? No, a revolution of Kenny Loggins, Shalamar and Foreigner. The absurdity lies precisely in this—the adults in this near-Denver town are afraid of soft 80s pop.

Note, however, that the town chosen is somewhere near Denver. I have mentioned elsewhere the importance of the Denver locale in certain films and novels, and my reading of Footloose is essentially that of a vague formula for revolution through music. Kevin, “The Bake,” arrives from Chicago and mystifies the locals with his cavalier attitude and free-flowing gymnastic jocularity. In fact. The Bake is able to dance like no one’s business when alone in a factory at midnight (following upon one beer and one cigarette). The film was actually shot in the Mormon-named city of Lehi, Utah.

The Bake gets a job at the local mills, so we know he is a working class revolutionary, and not part of the bourgeoisie. This gives him the requisite time to practice his flips and snag the town hotty, who happens to be the daughter of Rev. Lithgow who has a thirst for near death experiences and making out. Her name is Ariel, and Ariel is of course a reference from Isaiah for Israel. So the daughter of the male authority/patriarchy/God figure is Ariel, who is led astray by Pan, as a kind of pied piper. The pieces of the puzzle begin to fall in place. Pan is the ancient Greek god of woods, flute dancing, and sex. And dancing is a metaphor for sex. So Pan seduces the Ariel and overthrows the established order. Bacon’s character is named “Ren,” which is the Confucian expression of rightness, or a kind of golden rule. The Bake even teaches his redneck friend Chris Penn how to snap to a beat. Are there actually people who can’t snap?

(You also fry Bacon in a pan!)

So Ren/Pan represents equalization and “justice” against a supposed despotic Baptist theocracy that controls the establishment to the point of local cops being able to write tickets for teens attending rock concerts (?). Are there are any Baptist towns on theocratic lockdown? How is that actually possible, since Baptists believe in strict separation of church and state? I can’t imagine having to drive out-of-town to see Foreigner, and for that matter I can’t imagine seeing Foreigner, period. Meanwhile, Rev. Lithgow listens to Haydn, which we are supposed to believe is boring. Seriously? Kenny Loggins is superior to Haydn? Read more of this post

Another Hat Tip From Alex Jones – Cobra Commander!

Third Eagle Makes Colbert Report

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1987 Comedy Show Foreshadows Gaddafi’s Death

Agent Gubmint Debunks Conspiracies

It’s Jimmy Carter meets Jim Jones as the agent provocateur, the Shadow Gubmint himself, deflects and debunks the conspiracisssts and tin foil hat wearing crazies, while setting the populace on the right path of what Mother State dictates as “approved” and “official stories,” which are clearly more rational than the kooks and their fables.

Rare! Christopher Walken Commercial – Acapella Rock Music!

Just unearthed! Discovered next to the Ark in that big warehouse where gubmint hid the Ark of the Covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, is this rare commercial by Christopher Walken for his short-lived 1980s acapella rock revolution that was to “be the future.” Walken doesn’t want this scandalous information out, so spread it abroad! Hendrix, Prince, Cash – all were involved in the acapella “rock” scam of the 80s!

The Soothsayer of the Soaked Synthesizer Makes it Big! (Get it?)

We highlighted and lampooned this moron a while back.  He made it onto Anderson Cooper 360. 

How to Destroy Nations: And Rule Them

The Syndicate! (From The X-Files)

By: Jay

Bored?  Restless?  Does your secret cabal need something to do more interesting than donning goofy outfits?  Well, look no further–you’ve found the infamous step by step program to destroy nations.   But wait, it gets better. Not just destroying them; you’re going to take them down, and then rule them.  So get your cabal together and let’s talk world domination.

First, your fellow society members need to be well-educated.  You need a hefty dose of the major disciplines and men (and some women) trained in the arts and sciences, with some specializing in various disciplines.  Of particular relevance will be subjects like psychology, philosophy, history, economics and the sciences.  The more “Renaissance Man” your good men are, the better.  Hopefully your cadre has some players that are also good at acting and theater, because you’re going to need to do a lot of acting, lying and mass theater.

The first thing you’ll want to do is banking, so we’re going to establish a centralized bank that used a fiat currency.  The bank is to be established under the guise of “stability,” since a centralized bank that sets the rates of interest gives the appearance of a unifying factor, and which can eventually force all markets and localized economies onto a fiat currency.  As you extend more and more loans, you will be amassing real assets, which amounts, of course, to real wealth.  It may be necessary at first to base the new economy you’re establishing on gold or something real, but this won’t be a problem, inasmuch as over time as you build capital, you can purchase the gold.  Eventually, the gold standard won’t even be necessary, as all the money will be based on non-existent digital debts. 

If you don’t have the ability or means to start a central bank in a nation, you’ll have to think more long-term. Establish smaller, simper organizations, like the now-popular fast cash and credit bureau institutions which, over many decades, can grow into large banks.  It is important that in the host nation you are taking down, you promote the new banking institutions as geared toward progress.  These banks are the perfect “capitalist” mechanisms, inasmuch as they are able to produce “profit” (ie, amass real assets), from almost no bottom line!  It is important to promote this under the guise of a “free market” and “deregulation” (which of course, doesn’t exist), and fools the masses who are still caught up in cliché systems and phrases that are now 200 years out of date.

Now that you’ve got your bank in place, you’ll need to start planning on integrating and controlling other areas of commerce and social existence.  Control is the name of the game.  What you’ll want to initially do is set up numerous private foundations that operate under the guise of philanthropy.  You’ve got a bit of wealth now, so you won’t want to run a total scam–you’ll want to build a few museums and schools, but this will work for your advantage as well, as you will be able to control the content of the worldviews you desire to present in these institutions, as we will see in the education step.   Read more of this post

Arguing With, and Refuting Lizz Winstead: Moral Relativism

A Simple Example of How to Refute Moral Relativism

By: Jay

I argued with Lez Winstead, I mean Lizz Winstead, today.  She’s the co-creator of the Daily Show, so you think she’d be intelligent and funny. However, in a spar with her femenemy, man, she ended up flustered. Yes, logic and humor were not what she was expecting to meet on Twitter from an actual male not in her trendy New York drag queen circles.  So let’s see how well ultra-liberal wit and reasoning stands up to masculinity. Let’s see how tolerant, level-headed and logical those of this ilk are.

Lizz tweeted how much she loved homosexual gayness, because, you know, it’s just inherently so beautiful and radical:

So let’s see that loving tolerance in action. What happens when you rationally challenge this claim on philosophical grounds? Liberals are into philosophy, right? Local universities, philosophy, liberals, etc., doesn’t that all sorta flow together into one large living Gaia?  Yes, you’d think.  So let’s analyze this. Note the reasoning – “happiness” is what is the justifying criteria for what constitutes moral affirmation.  So, if you say that, it follows that:

This is entirely reasonable. The ”tweet” claims that moral lifestyles are justified on the basis of the purported pleasure of “happiness” they bring.  Well, some people enjoy sex with animals, children and relatives.  What’s the enlightened, tolerant liberal response? “Shut the Fuck Up.”

So, because I responded with a logical query, that moral relativism leads to the conclusion that bestiality, incest, rape and torture are all ago, I’m a “hater”! Why, who are we to stop someones else’s “happiness,” we fascists?! How dare you! But wait! Lizz is a super liberal, who thinks that no one should impose their views on others.  But Lizz thinks Planned Parenthood is glorious and that feminism is totally awesome.  So, Lizz thinks it’s wrong to oppose these things and adhere to moral absolutes.  but Lizz imposes her worldview on others, even though you can’t impose your views on others, since that’s intolerant and not loving.  But who said “shut the fuck up” first? She did. That’s not loving liberal and is intolerant.  I was a “hater” for asking a logical question. So much for the beautiful “open mind” that the “liberals” are supposed to have.  My next response was more abrupt:

Moral relativism is the key foundation stone of all who take this route.  Moral relativism says that there are no absolutes in morals, period.  Those who argue this never explain how that very claim itself is supposed to be absolute, though, since there are no absolutes.  All moral claims are purely relative to the individual. No one, therefore, can claim that any thing is, strictly speaking, “wrong.”  There are only preferential and non-preferential actions.  Murdering babies isn’t wrong, per se (Lizz likes it, in fact), but is instead solely up to the determination of whatever the individual lists.  Not in a good mood today?  Baby-daddy ran away?  Just kill it.

If Lizz is such a supposed liberal, why does she support Planned Parenthood, which was founded to weed out blacks, as the video below shows?  That’s not very loving liberal or logical.  In other words, Lizz had no response, not even a funny one (given that she is supposed to be a “comedian”).  What’s her response? I, and anyone who believes in moral absolutes wants to have sex with dogs. You can’t make this up:

And you will see in a moment I am who she is responding to. So, because I pointed out that adopting moral relativism is contradictory, I actually want to have sex with dogs.  There is no comparison between homosexuality and incest and other actions.  But the point is not whether the actions are similar or of the same degree.  The point is that the justification for actions is based on whatever makes one “happy.”  No one can deny another person their hedonistic fleshfest (or furfest!).   In fact, that Lizz thinks actions like incest and rape are of a different category deemed offensive shows she still wants to have moral absolutes and standards. But wait! Why are you imposing again on others’ “freedoms”?  Why are you being a fascist again, seeking to tell the poor pedophiles and bestiality afficionados they are distasteful or aberrant?  Why are you being so judgmental. And furthermore, why are you being so judgmental against me? I clicked “follow” on Twitter because I thought you might be funny.  In response, I got hatred. It is not I who hate, but you. Read more of this post

Exclusive – Unedited Alex Jones / Charlie Sheen Interview w/Cobra Commander!

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