BREAKING: Busted! Totally Staged and Hilarious North Korean Photos

Remember Rumsfeld's hilarious Bin Laden "Fortress" that looks like a picture from Highlight's Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

Remember Rumsfeld’s hilarious Bin Laden “Fortress” that looks like a picture from Highlight’s Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

By: Jay

You Saw it First on JaysAnalysis!

Remember – the famous Situation Room Photo is admittedly fake!

Breaking – White House claims North Korea has no Missile Capability!

I can’t stop laughing.  From the get-go Jay’s Analysis called the North Korean theater operations recently occurring as a staged event, pointing out that anything real that happened would be by the machinations of the western establishment itself.  Last night I became entranced by North Korean media photo ops and ended up staying up researching these hilarious pictures, getting no sleep.  What became evident after several hours of photo analysis was how ridiculous the images are.  But what’s amazing is not just how absurd the pictures are upon inspection, but how big these images are in the media hype and the total lack of any analysts, journalists or “intelligence agents” to call bullshit.  Where are the foreign analysts?  Apparently, the system thinks the public is so utterly inept that not even the middle management class of ”journalists” and “intellectuals” can figure out that these are completely absurd “threats” insofar as what we see presented.

Business Insider posted a series of images from the Associated Press that purport to be a “Top Secret Rocket Facility” where North Korea launched its supposed satellite.  The rest of the media has followed suit, hyping this international threat, arguing that North Korea can “nuke” other nations.  But an inspection of these images shows a host of stuff so stupid you can’t help but giggle.  Furthermore, these images are reminiscent of other more recent comedic mass black ops: the Bin Laden “raid” on his secret “compound” that featured water guns and an old man who is supposedly Bin Laden watching a crappy TV with an old cable box. 

Bin Laden's secret "compound" where international criminal operations are masterminded with the latest technology.

Bin Laden’s secret “compound” where international criminal machinations are organized with the latest technology.

The first question that should be asked by people with any brain cells left to rub together is, how does a country that the media says is a “hermit nation” closed off to the West manage to have all these picture perfect photo ops that filter out to all the western media?  Just like with Bin Laden, who was wanted in connection to the 1993 bombings, no one can seem to “get inside” North Korea, and “secret videos” have to be shot that “leak” to tabloids.  The last few weeks a spate of bizarre videos have surfaced all over the web, the most recent of which is the “slave labor” of North Korean where a small child supposedly dies because troops are busy unloading armaments.  Two utterly absurd facts emerge here.  First, we can’t see anything but what looks like a stuffed jumpsuit used for Halloween decoration in someone’s yard.  This is supposedly a small child, yet he’s wearing adult sized boots? Hilarious. Second, the wording of the source in the Daily Mirror is equally as witty, as it reads like a tenth grader writing a journal:

LOL!

LOL!

“A child of around 10 sits dying of starvation by the side of the road while just yards away soldiers load enough rice on to trucks to feed families for weeks.

As the young boy slumps on the grimy kerb in his filthy, oversized army jacket, locals stroll past zombie-style without even glancing in his direction or displaying an ounce of pity for his wretched plight. Read more of this post

Calvinism is…

"It's the way we move, sway and raise our palms to that sexy beat."

“It’s the way we move, sway and raise our palms to that sexy beat.”

By: The Gay Nazi Wizard and His Noxious Nest of Nobodies

Calvinism is dust on a Spurgeon devotional on a hearth with a kettle boiling goat’s milk for a mediocre-looking wife’s offspring, sprung from her privy parts.

Calvinism is an “elect” man in a van down by the river with a huge triple cassette tape deck running nonstop, multiple copies off of a generator about the legal status of living by the river on state property.

Calvinism is a week-long lecture on the Song of Solomon, only to retire every evening with your wife giving you zero nookie.

Calvinism is a debate on the legality of saying “missionary position.”

Calvinism is Wednesday night haircut/bible study in the farm home of the “elders.”

Calvinism is congregational ruling elders delivering your offspring through midwifery on the kitchen island.

Calvinism is debating an unknown person a thousand miles away, furiously slapping at the keyboard for hours on the Sabbath, only to immediately click over to bigblondebutts.com

Calvinism is whizzing in your boxers when you first see Gary North’s luminous crown of white hair emerging over the horizon, walking towards you.

Calvinism is running theonomy.com AND bigblondebutts.com

Calvinism is that *rush* you get at hearing “Rushdoony.”

Calvinism is rejecting lace head coverings for being too similar to lascivious lingerie. Read more of this post

Samberg Synchronicity?

This is oddly similar to my standup routine from two years ago, where I read the Facts of Life theme as a poem that I overtly rip off, but present as a real, heartfelt piece. Readers of my blog know this is not the first time this has happened.

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1388804

Rare! Christopher Walken Commercial – Acapella Rock Music!

Just unearthed! Discovered next to the Ark in that big warehouse where gubmint hid the Ark of the Covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, is this rare commercial by Christopher Walken for his short-lived 1980s acapella rock revolution that was to “be the future.” Walken doesn’t want this scandalous information out, so spread it abroad! Hendrix, Prince, Cash – all were involved in the acapella “rock” scam of the 80s!

Fr. Count von Frankensteen of the Holy Gothic Latin Traditional Rite

Rush Limbaugh Interviews Lando Calrissian

Rush Limbaugh interviews Lando Calrissian on the machinations of the Bespin Democratic Party. Lando catches up with Rush, telling us what he’s been up to since space in the early 1980s.

[Note: most Youtube Star Wars spoofs are a dime a dozen and are lame, so the challenge was to come up with a decent one totally improv, no edits. -Jay]

Esoteric Symbolism and Allegory in Faulkner’s Old Man

The version I read.

Revised. 12/8/10

By: Jay

(c) Copyrighted, all right reserved.

Old Man is part of a Faulkner work titled The Wild Palms, a collection of two stories; Old Man and If I Forget Thee Jerusalem, both of which deal with similar themes, yet are able to stand alone. Old Man is a fascinating tale, rife with allusions to biblical characters, questions of destiny and freedom, gender and sexual issues, natural and spiritual forces, social flaws and rival cultures, operating under a modernist analysis. It also uses humor to make the piece somewhat of a dark satire. Faulkner’s rich usage of symbols, and the stories’ allegorical meanings are worthy of analysis within their own context (as opposed to comparison with The Wild Palms).

     Old Man takes place in Mississippi in 1927 during a flood of the Mississippi River, where two convicts are chosen to paddle down river and rescue stranded refugees. Of the two, one is described as “plump,” while the protagonist is “tall and thin.”  Neither criminals are exceptionally bright, and have been engaged in manual labor on a levee at a place called “The Farm” for seven years, yet had oddly not seen the water itself in. They are thus isolated, nameless individuals who subsist at an animalistic level, as the “Farm” terminology suggests. In fact, we later learn that the anonymous tall convict had derived the idea to rob a train from reading pulp fiction novels.      

     His youthful reasoning was apparently that if he took the best ideas from all the novels he had read, his robbery would prove successful. This is an amusing use of irony where a completely fictional reality comes to dominate the psychological motivations for a young southern male’s decision to rob trains, ultimately for his teenage girlfriend, which lands him in jail.  The male/female dynamic will be one of the main themes of the novella, and Faulkner takes a particularly negative and antagonistic view of the social norms of his day, especially that of married life and the status quo. Several examples arise in which Faulkner makes this point as the convict is swept along by the river’s fatalistic currents.

     When the flood breaks loose, the tall convict is unaware of what is happening: He has never seen the river itself and asks a “Negro man” what has happened, who responds that it is “De old man.” The river, then, is a key player in this story, and is the Mississippi itself. The name suggests the ancient preternatural powers of nature that are brute, untamed, uncivilized and determining. Another theme in the story is that of the reality of man’s free will in the face of raw nature, which seems to sweep us along, with no concern for social strata or human virtue or vice. Read more of this post

Snake Breaks Into the Nashville Country Scene!

Political commentator and tough (‘Merkan) guy, Snake Plissken (aka ‘Rattler”) describes his experiences concerning breaking into the Nashville country scene. Well, we should say, his plans to break in. Eventually. Snake also tells stories and gives tips on alluring women and writing a hit song.

No Apologies for the Southern Avenger by The Southern Avenger

Rand Paul (Al-Qaeda Operative) Plants Printer Ink Bombs in UK, Started WW2

Rand Paul, Al Qaeda Hierarch and "bff" with Bin Laden and Satan

By: Jay

In the wake of a fury of media attention, fake liberal propaganda and smear tactics, Dr. Rand Paul of Kentucky has now been identified as the origin of World Wars I and II–and now III! Stay tuned for updates – no evidence is needed. Some bloggers are also turning up evidence of Rand’s complicity in the JFK assassination. Don’t listen to Paul Joseph Watson, who talks about Paul’s poll surge today.

On a related note, he is also  in the midst of a “heated” brothel controversy.  It turns out, Dr. Rand Paul has been running every single house of ill repute in Kentucky  and Illinois, all the while attending to patients under the cover of being a “doctor.” Some are speculating that Paul, in fact, invented the world’s oldest profession.

Not only is this not true, it shows the length and depth to which the establishment left media has had to go to, to smear the obviously clean Rand. In fact, it’s a good gauge of how authentic Rand is. Originally, Rachel Maddow pulled the dirty trick of publishing a transcript where he answered the question about audio technicalities with “yes,” as if this was a yes to Rand purportedly seeking to get rid of the civil rights act.

The left has now proven, in their great integrity and moral authority, that Rand Paul is the worst entity, this side of the netherworld. Indeed, dark powers were invoked and a portal was reportedly opened, and what stepped through was not Satan or Stalin, but Rand Paul. The most striking example of Paul’s evil, however, is that Rand Paul is now known to control Al-Qaeda and has, through his semi-omnipresent powers of manipulation, planted the ink cartridges that sorta kinda look like  ”bombs.” Paul, on the eve of his campaign, flew clandestinely to the UK and orchestrated  a massive international crime syndicate-style operation that has reported links to big companies like Xerox.  Some have seen a connection between the blackness of the printer ink, and the blackness of Paul’s soul.

It is high time we stopped this menace, and voted for average, every day shady characters like Jack Conway, who sticks to normal questionable activities.  Vote for the good bad guys–good bad guys like Jack Conway.  Remember – a vote for Rand Paul is a vote towards a theocracy – not of God, but of lord Aqua Buddha.

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