Deep within the darkest recesses of the human psyche dwells a Luciferian figure of unparalleled esoteric power. You are probably thinking, “Satan,” “the Antichrist,” “Dr. Mengele,” “Dr. Kevorkian,” “Dr. Zhivago,” “Dr. Jay,” but all those worthy contenders pale in comparison to the Illuminati’s greatest masterpiece of occult mind control: Ernest Scared Stupid. Pawned off on an unsuspecting public as “wacky” home entertainment, Ernest’s very name brings to mind honesty, sincerity and earnest – core hallmarks of our great republic.
Yet, with all this in mind, something far greater was at work in this alchemical comedic brew, as the Illuminati prepared this great land’s youth and their baby-boomer progenitors for the ultimate malefic transformation that would be accomplished within this allegorical tale. Consider also that the film premiered in 1991, a date of high significance to accomplished numerologists, and functions as a clear prediction of 9/11, as we can arrange 1991 to become 9/11.
Our film opens in Puritan America, as an Ernest “descendant” pronounces divine judgment on a “troll,” banishing him, not to the abyss, the underworld, or Hades, but a few feet underground beside the sacred Oak tree, a clear reference to Yggdrasil and the cabalistic tree of life. This was, of course, by design, as the evil entity could have been simply banished to hell. “Trolls,” as any good conspiracy theorist knows, are code for Illuminati child sex slave handlers. In the narrative, the “trolls” feed on the energy of children by turning them into cheesy 80s action figurines (consider how much disdain the Illuminati has for the public – you are not even worthy to be transformed into a decent action figurine!).
The Illuminati, with their keen powers of gnosis, armed with the weaponry of secret knowledge and history, were well aware that the New World of America was a land cursed and haunted by the spirits of its former Indian inhabitants. Cleverly cloaked in allegorical form, the transmigration of Ernest’s soul from Puritan Minister into modern-day moron (it’s the same guy in both costumes!) thus reveals a coded message about the sinister master plan of reincarnation and enslavement of souls in the lower realms. Unable to escape the cyclical wheel of time, “Ernest” (honesty, sincerity) must discover the Illuminati’s deepest arcana to ascend his mundane existence and thereby “save” the children.
As noted before at JaysAnalysis’ in my professional scholarly research, the Puritan ministers were responsible for the death of over a million witches at the Salem Witch Trials. Ernest is therefore a figure under the curse of the Illuminati, and his descendants are gradually subject to the dumbing-down process that symbolizes America’s own decline. The film takes place on Halloween, which is the high Satanic Holiday of Sam Hanes, the designer of underwear. Hanes, the underwear-obsessed “whitey tightey” mogul, is also an Illuminati bloodline family elite, and Ernest Sacred Stupid wants its more enlightened viewers to be aware of this clear, obvious connection. It also reveals the elite’s deviant obsession with skivvies and privy parts.
Ernest visits the town’s vodoun priestess, giving viewers a revelation of the occult initiation path he will undertake. Soon after visiting the medicine woman, Ernest begins to manifest alter personas such as Caesar, a snarky old woman, Atilla the Hun, as well as many others. Ernest is a subject of the Illuminati’s MKULTRA program, and the manipulation of his consciousness by dark forces. Soon after, Ernest spends a lot of time hanging around kids, and “accidently” awakens the troll from the pit. Here we can make an undeniable reference to the Book of Revelation, where in 11:7 the “beast ascends from the abyss to make war on the saints.” The town of Briarville is, from this point, under demonic attack due to the ritual and synchromystic invocation of Ernest, the chosen adept – all symbolic of the Illuminati bloodlines and their siege on America.
The troll’s name is ‘Trantor,” which evokes the imagery or transgender and transhumanism and (alchemical) transformation. As Trantor wreaks havok on the city, zapping its youth with 80s blue lightning effects, the children become figurine puppets – MKULTRA puppets of the Illuminati! The dark secret is that Ernest is the unwitting initiate who actually brings about the chaos through his own inner mystic powers, albeit unbeknownst to him. In fact. Ernest’s familiar spirit is a puppy named “Rimshot,” which brings to mind unspeakable sexual metaphors. The truth is, Ernest Scared Stupid is film about sex magick and MKULTRA trauma-based mind control, as being “sacred stupid” is precisely what the Illuminati have done to America! The trauma has caused a split in the psyche, resulting in control by fear and stupidity, making an America full of Ernests! Ernest is also sexually ambiguous, spending all his time with underage children, and at this point we must petition Hollywood to make the proper film it should have – Ernest Scared Straight!
Verdict: Three bags of gmo popcorn and two corn syrup Gummies.