January 14, 2013 Leave a comment
By: The Gay Nazi Wizard and His Noxious Nest of Nobodies
Calvinism is dust on a Spurgeon devotional on a hearth with a kettle boiling goat’s milk for a mediocre-looking wife’s offspring, sprung from her privy parts.
Calvinism is an “elect” man in a van down by the river with a huge triple cassette tape deck running nonstop, multiple copies off of a generator about the legal status of living by the river on state property.
Calvinism is a week-long lecture on the Song of Solomon, only to retire every evening with your wife giving you zero nookie.
Calvinism is a debate on the legality of saying “missionary position.”
Calvinism is Wednesday night haircut/bible study in the farm home of the “elders.”
Calvinism is congregational ruling elders delivering your offspring through midwifery on the kitchen island.
Calvinism is debating an unknown person a thousand miles away, furiously slapping at the keyboard for hours on the Sabbath, only to immediately click over to bigblondebutts.com
Calvinism is whizzing in your boxers when you first see Gary North’s luminous crown of white hair emerging over the horizon, walking towards you.
Calvinism is running theonomy.com AND bigblondebutts.com
Calvinism is that *rush* you get at hearing “Rushdoony.”
Calvinism is rejecting lace head coverings for being too similar to lascivious lingerie. Read more of this post