BREAKING: Busted! Totally Staged and Hilarious North Korean Photos

Remember Rumsfeld's hilarious Bin Laden "Fortress" that looks like a picture from Highlight's Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

Remember Rumsfeld’s hilarious Bin Laden “Fortress” that looks like a picture from Highlight’s Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

By: Jay

You Saw it First on JaysAnalysis!

Remember – the famous Situation Room Photo is admittedly fake!

Breaking – White House claims North Korea has no Missile Capability!

I can’t stop laughing.  From the get-go Jay’s Analysis called the North Korean theater operations recently occurring as a staged event, pointing out that anything real that happened would be by the machinations of the western establishment itself.  Last night I became entranced by North Korean media photo ops and ended up staying up researching these hilarious pictures, getting no sleep.  What became evident after several hours of photo analysis was how ridiculous the images are.  But what’s amazing is not just how absurd the pictures are upon inspection, but how big these images are in the media hype and the total lack of any analysts, journalists or “intelligence agents” to call bullshit.  Where are the foreign analysts?  Apparently, the system thinks the public is so utterly inept that not even the middle management class of ”journalists” and “intellectuals” can figure out that these are completely absurd “threats” insofar as what we see presented.

Business Insider posted a series of images from the Associated Press that purport to be a “Top Secret Rocket Facility” where North Korea launched its supposed satellite.  The rest of the media has followed suit, hyping this international threat, arguing that North Korea can “nuke” other nations.  But an inspection of these images shows a host of stuff so stupid you can’t help but giggle.  Furthermore, these images are reminiscent of other more recent comedic mass black ops: the Bin Laden “raid” on his secret “compound” that featured water guns and an old man who is supposedly Bin Laden watching a crappy TV with an old cable box. 

Bin Laden's secret "compound" where international criminal operations are masterminded with the latest technology.

Bin Laden’s secret “compound” where international criminal machinations are organized with the latest technology.

The first question that should be asked by people with any brain cells left to rub together is, how does a country that the media says is a “hermit nation” closed off to the West manage to have all these picture perfect photo ops that filter out to all the western media?  Just like with Bin Laden, who was wanted in connection to the 1993 bombings, no one can seem to “get inside” North Korea, and “secret videos” have to be shot that “leak” to tabloids.  The last few weeks a spate of bizarre videos have surfaced all over the web, the most recent of which is the “slave labor” of North Korean where a small child supposedly dies because troops are busy unloading armaments.  Two utterly absurd facts emerge here.  First, we can’t see anything but what looks like a stuffed jumpsuit used for Halloween decoration in someone’s yard.  This is supposedly a small child, yet he’s wearing adult sized boots? Hilarious. Second, the wording of the source in the Daily Mirror is equally as witty, as it reads like a tenth grader writing a journal:

LOL!

LOL!

“A child of around 10 sits dying of starvation by the side of the road while just yards away soldiers load enough rice on to trucks to feed families for weeks.

As the young boy slumps on the grimy kerb in his filthy, oversized army jacket, locals stroll past zombie-style without even glancing in his direction or displaying an ounce of pity for his wretched plight. Read more of this post

8 Examples of Unusually, Overly Specific Typecasting in Hollywood Movies

"I, ugh, I ugh, I'm I'm stroking my chin now, right now, as a proper Jeff Goldblum should do, and I, I, I, um, am about to tell you some, some, um, disturbing FUBAR event that we will marginally escape..."

By: Peter Parker

Most movie goers are familiar with the phenomenon of typecasting, where a certain actor, be it by his or her own efforts or by the capricious whims of some Hollywood Executive, ends up playing the same basic role over and over again. Examples include John Wayne’s myriad performances as Cowboys, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s frequent portrayal of guys who’ll “be back” and Shia Labeouf’s endless depictions of people I want to repeatedly punch in the face. However, what has gone largely unnoticed by folks with so-called “real lives” is what I have labeled “U.O.S.T.” or Unusually Overly Specific Typecasting. U.O.S.T is often so bizarre that it seems more like some wonky Synchro-Mystic reincarnation across an actor’s career history rather than a reflection of the utter unoriginality of Hollywood casting directors but perhaps we should just let the examples of it speak for themselves.

Mary Steenburgen: The Girlfriend, Turned Wife of Guys Who Travel Between the Late 19th and Late 20th Centuries.

Other than playing Bride of Frankenstein to giant foreheaded hubby Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen is probably best known for playing the part of Clara Clayton, a schoolmarm romanced by nutty scientists Emmett “Doc” Brown, when he travels back to the year 1885 in the third Back to the Future movie. After contemplating destroying his time machine on the grounds that it might fuck shit up on a galactic scale, Doc eventually says “screw the laws of causality,” marries Clara and returns with her to his own era.

"We named our kids Jules & Verne, so basically, we’re one of those annoying yuppie couples that makes you wanna barf! But at least, be thankful we didn’t pull a Will & Jada Smith & call em Clemet & Emra."

What’s less remembered, however, is Mary played almost this exact same part ten years earlier, with only one slight inversion. In the 1979 film Time After Time, Mary plays Amy Robbins a late 20th century woman who is romanced by a time traveler from the year 1893, specifically the pimp-daddy of time travel himself, H.G Wells, who came through time to pursue none other than Jack the Ripper. After saving Amy from “Saucy Jack” Wells decides he must return to his own time and destroy the machine. Proving the old adage “time machines are the ultimate pussy wagons,” Amy begs Wells to take her with him. They return to 1893 with the ending credits telling us that they later married.

Hell, both movies even feature scenes where Mary gets all pissy when her respective beaus, reveal that they are time travelers. Apparently, she believes “I’m a time traveling scientists” to be a sleazy con to get up under her hoop skirt and as we’ve already established, it’s definitely an angle that works!

Speaking of perfectly executed segues; our next example of U.O.S.T also involves another actress from Back to the Future.

Maybe this movie traveled through time to become “Back to the Future 3.”

Lea Thompson: Young Women in Sci-Fi Related, Deeply Disturbing, Sexual Relationships.

If you weren’t creeped out by the Steenburgen/Danson pairing, then this next segment probably won’t phase you one bit, however if your disturbo-threshold is that of a normal human, prepare to go “eeww!”

The lovely Lea Thompson has twice played parts that combine sci-fi and totally wrong sexual relationships. Many of us remember, mostly in therapy sessions, the scene in Back to the Future where Lea plays 1950s chick Lorrain Baines, who through the miracle of time travel, tries to get it on with her own son, Marty.

Hell, both movies even feature scenes where Mary gets all pissy when her respective beaus, reveal that they are time travelers. Apparently, she believes “I’m a time traveling scientists” to be a sleazy con to get up under her hoop skirt and as we’ve already established, it’s definitely an angle that works! Read more of this post

Bibliography Recommendations for Bond Master’s Thesis

The First Bond Film, Dr. No

Since many readers of this blog are highly fluent in this area, any recommendations that are missing that are relevant are welcomed (aside from Fleming’s Bond novels themselves).  My thesis is on Fleming, Bond and the relation between semiotics and propaganda in espionage fiction and film. -Jay

Most Relevant Books:

 

The Politics of James Bond: From Fleming’s Novels to the Big Screen  by: Jeremy Black

 

For Your Eyes Only: Ian Fleming and James Bond by: Ben MacIntyre

 

The Bond Code: The Dark World of Ian Fleming and James Bond by: Philip Gardiner

 

Ian Fleming and James Bond: The Cultural Politics of 007 Ed.: Edward Comentale

 

James Bond and Philosophy Eds. South and Held Read more of this post

Contagion (2011) – Analysis

Touch ye not, taste ye not, the defiled masses.

By: Jay

I saw Contagion with a theater full of baby-boomers and senior citizens who frequently commented throughout how realistic and scary Contagion was.  I had to snicker at this.  Contagion is like a remake of Outbreak, and Outbreak is awful.  Outbreak is worse than the worst episode of the A-Team, minus the captivating dialogue.  Contagion isn’t much better, aside from the good acting with the all-star lineup.  The entire film is like watching a public service announcement for government vaccines: something they would make you watch in high school.  It’s total fear propaganda – the only thing contagious is the fear spread by the film.  I’m reminded of the “H1N1″ scare of a few years back, where the system told us we were all dead.  And what happened? Nothing. Only the weakest minded, most  oblivious fools still thinks the system loves the public and has its best interest at heart.

Connections are made in the film to SARS, which was an engineered bio release, and as I watched, I immediately thought of V for Vendetta, where a planned bio-release kills thousands of Catholics. Recently, the BBC did a show called Survivors that was well done along the same lines, where a pharmaceutical corporation allows a bio-release to get out, killing 95% of the population.   In fact, the BBC pops up in the film, as well as CNN’s Sanjay Gupta.  This should tell you who’s on the inside in terms of mass media.  I’m reminded as well of The Stand, The Passage, and a host of other Zombie films.  We seem to have an apocalyptic fascination in Amerika.  In fact, the “virus” in Contagion is a pig-bat-bird mutation that kills within 24 hours.   Read more of this post

Inception: My Labyrinthine Analysis

Water is often associated with the Aether or the dream realm

By: Jay
Inception is one of the best films Hollywood has put out in years, and stands out as a diamond in a large stack of garbage.  If the liberals in Hollywood were really worried about the environment, they wouldn’t cloud the artistic environment with so much pollution. But Inception is something else. A film that mystified many, it also became the subject of intense online debates and speculation as to its ultimate meaning. I believe I have cracked it, and I think I cracked its code upon first viewing.  I subsequently viewed it two more times, and collected even more clues confirming my basic thesis. Let’s analyze.

One cannot properly understand Inception without familiarity with the basic concepts of Carl Jung, some Freud, and a sprinkling of esoterica. The esoteric elements coalesce nicely, due to Jung’s emphasis on mythology and archetypes.  I am not here advocating Carl Jung, to be clear. Jung was very much opposed to the basic worldview I espouse, but we must still interact with and decode these phenomena, inasmuch as they are a part of the world we operate in.

What is happening in Inception is just this: the entire sequence is about Cobb himself returning from the abyss of chaos to his true identity, wherein he reaches a kind of personal paradise. Cobb is, in fact, the only character, and the other characters are all “projections of the subconscious,” as he explains to Ariadne in her first test dream sequence. The original clue to this interpretation is in the beginning when Cobb, Saito and his associates are in the room (Saito’s apartment) where the revolution of some kind is taking place outside. Saito recognizes the carpet is not his, and calls Cobb out for keeping him within yet another layer of dream-existence. Cobb tells us later that the projections never attack the dreamer, but the others supposedly perceived as intruders. However, if this was the case, then the revolutionaries should have attacked Cobb and Saito; but they don’t – they attack Nash (played by Lucas Haas), who is supposed to be the dreamer in this layer. And if you note, they never attack Cobb – ever. Read more of this post

The Greatest Film Ever Made

I was very thankful to be able to do the voiceover on the trailer for the greatest movie ever made. The reviews are in! Moviegoers are promised to be dazzled, dazed and confused, beyond all recognition. A film so powerful critics are saying they literally stammered and babbled like bufoons for weeks after viewing the opening sequences.

Die Hard – 9/11 ?

 

“German” terrorists attack a lone buildng in L.A. while John McClain saves the day. This poster looks a bit like 9/11 though. Note that we are shown Bruce’s left eye, synonomous with the left handed path of chaos and evil. The attack will be one of black magic and psychological manipulation.

 

 

  

 

 

 

When the “terrorists” arrive, we see some interesting architecture.

The long-used hexagram of witchcraft, kabballah and the occult appears

 When the “terrorists” plant the bombs, we see an interesting number combo flash quickly: Read more of this post

Bowie’s “Labyrinth” – Esoteric Analysis, pt. 1

By: Jay Dyer

Dedicated to Ross!

It’s always fun to go back and watch the movies you grew up with. However, it can also be a disturbing experience, akin to finding out that uncle you had that was so cool was actually an alcoholic. This last week re-watched several movies that were favorites of mine from the 80s. I started with the Jim Henson/George Lucas production Labyrinth(1986), starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly.

Seemingly a harmless mish-mash of various fairy tales into one puppeteered hodgepodge, virtually all of my contemporaries are well familiar with this film which constitutes, as we say, the “essence of 80s.” But is it harmless fun, or is there something else going on?

In the story, Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) is a young girl who has yet to enter womanhood. Her parents are divorced, while her mother is a moderately popular actress we never meet. Sarah is obsessed with fantasies, and in the opening scene we see her in a park/garden, where she wears a pure white dress, emblematic of edenic purity, reciting lines from the book, The Labyrinth. But Sarah isn’t just standing in a garden/park, she is surrounded by Egyptian/masonic obelisks as seen here and in the video below.

Read more of this post

Alex Jones/Jay Dyer Discuss Predictive Programming (3 pts.)

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