BREAKING: Busted! Totally Staged and Hilarious North Korean Photos

Remember Rumsfeld's hilarious Bin Laden "Fortress" that looks like a picture from Highlight's Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

Remember Rumsfeld’s hilarious Bin Laden “Fortress” that looks like a picture from Highlight’s Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

By: Jay

You Saw it First on JaysAnalysis!

Remember – the famous Situation Room Photo is admittedly fake!

Breaking – White House claims North Korea has no Missile Capability!

I can’t stop laughing.  From the get-go Jay’s Analysis called the North Korean theater operations recently occurring as a staged event, pointing out that anything real that happened would be by the machinations of the western establishment itself.  Last night I became entranced by North Korean media photo ops and ended up staying up researching these hilarious pictures, getting no sleep.  What became evident after several hours of photo analysis was how ridiculous the images are.  But what’s amazing is not just how absurd the pictures are upon inspection, but how big these images are in the media hype and the total lack of any analysts, journalists or “intelligence agents” to call bullshit.  Where are the foreign analysts?  Apparently, the system thinks the public is so utterly inept that not even the middle management class of ”journalists” and “intellectuals” can figure out that these are completely absurd “threats” insofar as what we see presented.

Business Insider posted a series of images from the Associated Press that purport to be a “Top Secret Rocket Facility” where North Korea launched its supposed satellite.  The rest of the media has followed suit, hyping this international threat, arguing that North Korea can “nuke” other nations.  But an inspection of these images shows a host of stuff so stupid you can’t help but giggle.  Furthermore, these images are reminiscent of other more recent comedic mass black ops: the Bin Laden “raid” on his secret “compound” that featured water guns and an old man who is supposedly Bin Laden watching a crappy TV with an old cable box. 

Bin Laden's secret "compound" where international criminal operations are masterminded with the latest technology.

Bin Laden’s secret “compound” where international criminal machinations are organized with the latest technology.

The first question that should be asked by people with any brain cells left to rub together is, how does a country that the media says is a “hermit nation” closed off to the West manage to have all these picture perfect photo ops that filter out to all the western media?  Just like with Bin Laden, who was wanted in connection to the 1993 bombings, no one can seem to “get inside” North Korea, and “secret videos” have to be shot that “leak” to tabloids.  The last few weeks a spate of bizarre videos have surfaced all over the web, the most recent of which is the “slave labor” of North Korean where a small child supposedly dies because troops are busy unloading armaments.  Two utterly absurd facts emerge here.  First, we can’t see anything but what looks like a stuffed jumpsuit used for Halloween decoration in someone’s yard.  This is supposedly a small child, yet he’s wearing adult sized boots? Hilarious. Second, the wording of the source in the Daily Mirror is equally as witty, as it reads like a tenth grader writing a journal:

LOL!

LOL!

“A child of around 10 sits dying of starvation by the side of the road while just yards away soldiers load enough rice on to trucks to feed families for weeks.

As the young boy slumps on the grimy kerb in his filthy, oversized army jacket, locals stroll past zombie-style without even glancing in his direction or displaying an ounce of pity for his wretched plight. Read more of this post

Footloose (1984): Absurd Analysis

Teen millworkers of the world, unite!

By: Jay

Baconista: n., A dance, dance revolutionary.

Footloose is fabulously absurd: a butt-cut Kevin Bacon is swept up into a revolution that overthrows church and state. However, this is no classical union of the proletariat: this is a revolution fueled by music. The Beatles? The Sex Pistols? Metal? No, a revolution of Kenny Loggins, Shalamar and Foreigner. The absurdity lies precisely in this—the adults in this near-Denver town are afraid of soft 80s pop.

Note, however, that the town chosen is somewhere near Denver. I have mentioned elsewhere the importance of the Denver locale in certain films and novels, and my reading of Footloose is essentially that of a vague formula for revolution through music. Kevin, “The Bake,” arrives from Chicago and mystifies the locals with his cavalier attitude and free-flowing gymnastic jocularity. In fact. The Bake is able to dance like no one’s business when alone in a factory at midnight (following upon one beer and one cigarette). The film was actually shot in the Mormon-named city of Lehi, Utah.

The Bake gets a job at the local mills, so we know he is a working class revolutionary, and not part of the bourgeoisie. This gives him the requisite time to practice his flips and snag the town hotty, who happens to be the daughter of Rev. Lithgow who has a thirst for near death experiences and making out. Her name is Ariel, and Ariel is of course a reference from Isaiah for Israel. So the daughter of the male authority/patriarchy/God figure is Ariel, who is led astray by Pan, as a kind of pied piper. The pieces of the puzzle begin to fall in place. Pan is the ancient Greek god of woods, flute dancing, and sex. And dancing is a metaphor for sex. So Pan seduces the Ariel and overthrows the established order. Bacon’s character is named “Ren,” which is the Confucian expression of rightness, or a kind of golden rule. The Bake even teaches his redneck friend Chris Penn how to snap to a beat. Are there actually people who can’t snap?

(You also fry Bacon in a pan!)

So Ren/Pan represents equalization and “justice” against a supposed despotic Baptist theocracy that controls the establishment to the point of local cops being able to write tickets for teens attending rock concerts (?). Are there are any Baptist towns on theocratic lockdown? How is that actually possible, since Baptists believe in strict separation of church and state? I can’t imagine having to drive out-of-town to see Foreigner, and for that matter I can’t imagine seeing Foreigner, period. Meanwhile, Rev. Lithgow listens to Haydn, which we are supposed to believe is boring. Seriously? Kenny Loggins is superior to Haydn? Read more of this post

Another Hat Tip From Alex Jones – Cobra Commander!

Hat Tip From Alex Jones on My Spoof

My spoofs have been posted on infowars before, and here is a hat tip to my Charlie Sheen spoof (first ten seconds).

Agent Gubmint Debunks Conspiracies

It’s Jimmy Carter meets Jim Jones as the agent provocateur, the Shadow Gubmint himself, deflects and debunks the conspiracisssts and tin foil hat wearing crazies, while setting the populace on the right path of what Mother State dictates as “approved” and “official stories,” which are clearly more rational than the kooks and their fables.

Arguing With, and Refuting Lizz Winstead: Moral Relativism

A Simple Example of How to Refute Moral Relativism

By: Jay

I argued with Lez Winstead, I mean Lizz Winstead, today.  She’s the co-creator of the Daily Show, so you think she’d be intelligent and funny. However, in a spar with her femenemy, man, she ended up flustered. Yes, logic and humor were not what she was expecting to meet on Twitter from an actual male not in her trendy New York drag queen circles.  So let’s see how well ultra-liberal wit and reasoning stands up to masculinity. Let’s see how tolerant, level-headed and logical those of this ilk are.

Lizz tweeted how much she loved homosexual gayness, because, you know, it’s just inherently so beautiful and radical:

So let’s see that loving tolerance in action. What happens when you rationally challenge this claim on philosophical grounds? Liberals are into philosophy, right? Local universities, philosophy, liberals, etc., doesn’t that all sorta flow together into one large living Gaia?  Yes, you’d think.  So let’s analyze this. Note the reasoning – “happiness” is what is the justifying criteria for what constitutes moral affirmation.  So, if you say that, it follows that:

This is entirely reasonable. The ”tweet” claims that moral lifestyles are justified on the basis of the purported pleasure of “happiness” they bring.  Well, some people enjoy sex with animals, children and relatives.  What’s the enlightened, tolerant liberal response? “Shut the Fuck Up.”

So, because I responded with a logical query, that moral relativism leads to the conclusion that bestiality, incest, rape and torture are all ago, I’m a “hater”! Why, who are we to stop someones else’s “happiness,” we fascists?! How dare you! But wait! Lizz is a super liberal, who thinks that no one should impose their views on others.  But Lizz thinks Planned Parenthood is glorious and that feminism is totally awesome.  So, Lizz thinks it’s wrong to oppose these things and adhere to moral absolutes.  but Lizz imposes her worldview on others, even though you can’t impose your views on others, since that’s intolerant and not loving.  But who said “shut the fuck up” first? She did. That’s not loving liberal and is intolerant.  I was a “hater” for asking a logical question. So much for the beautiful “open mind” that the “liberals” are supposed to have.  My next response was more abrupt:

Moral relativism is the key foundation stone of all who take this route.  Moral relativism says that there are no absolutes in morals, period.  Those who argue this never explain how that very claim itself is supposed to be absolute, though, since there are no absolutes.  All moral claims are purely relative to the individual. No one, therefore, can claim that any thing is, strictly speaking, “wrong.”  There are only preferential and non-preferential actions.  Murdering babies isn’t wrong, per se (Lizz likes it, in fact), but is instead solely up to the determination of whatever the individual lists.  Not in a good mood today?  Baby-daddy ran away?  Just kill it.

If Lizz is such a supposed liberal, why does she support Planned Parenthood, which was founded to weed out blacks, as the video below shows?  That’s not very loving liberal or logical.  In other words, Lizz had no response, not even a funny one (given that she is supposed to be a “comedian”).  What’s her response? I, and anyone who believes in moral absolutes wants to have sex with dogs. You can’t make this up:

And you will see in a moment I am who she is responding to. So, because I pointed out that adopting moral relativism is contradictory, I actually want to have sex with dogs.  There is no comparison between homosexuality and incest and other actions.  But the point is not whether the actions are similar or of the same degree.  The point is that the justification for actions is based on whatever makes one “happy.”  No one can deny another person their hedonistic fleshfest (or furfest!).   In fact, that Lizz thinks actions like incest and rape are of a different category deemed offensive shows she still wants to have moral absolutes and standards. But wait! Why are you imposing again on others’ “freedoms”?  Why are you being a fascist again, seeking to tell the poor pedophiles and bestiality afficionados they are distasteful or aberrant?  Why are you being so judgmental. And furthermore, why are you being so judgmental against me? I clicked “follow” on Twitter because I thought you might be funny.  In response, I got hatred. It is not I who hate, but you. Read more of this post

Fr. Count von Frankensteen of the Holy Gothic Latin Traditional Rite

Snake Breaks Into the Nashville Country Scene!

Political commentator and tough (‘Merkan) guy, Snake Plissken (aka ‘Rattler”) describes his experiences concerning breaking into the Nashville country scene. Well, we should say, his plans to break in. Eventually. Snake also tells stories and gives tips on alluring women and writing a hit song.

Improv and Comedy Showcase – Several Characters and Skits

Here’s a sampling of the videos I’ve done so far, which have been viewed 15,000 times: not bad for a few videos thrown up in the last year. All the impersonations and voices are done by me with no edits or stops. Very little planning beforehand is done. Enjoy! -Jay

Snake Plissken, aka, ‘Rattler’ responds to trends and economic analysts Gerald Celente and Max Keiser and tells how to conduct a war.

Your local liberal college professor does a video introduction for his lit 635 class.

Alex Jones Satire, Part 1.

Alex Jones Satire, Part 2.

Alex Jones Satire, Part 3.

Local white thug, Koop gets his own WB show and offers up a promo vid.

The Gospel Radio Hour with Brother Billy! Enigmatic Bible Prophecies Explained!

Jeff GaGa, President of the Lady GaGa fanclub shows you his V-Diary!

Classical Calvinist priss professor, Dr. Peter McWilson shows you heresy and how to avoid it.

Shocking and Supressed Cryptozoology and Government Secrets Exposed in the 1986 documentary!

Calvinist Bible Preacher Paul Washer responds to me quite virulently.

Having issues with hipsters and their “counter-culture’? F.N. r0b gives a little introduction to hipsterism. How ironic.

Judge Andrew Napolitano interviews Senate Candidate Rand Paul on his recent controversies and media attacks.

Your Local College Professor

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