Great Unused Alternative Band Names

Tweet Tweet Terrorist! or Pony Force?  YOU DECIDE!

Tweet Tweet Terrorist! or Pony Force? YOU DECIDE!

By: Jay, Kid B, and other geniuses.

Are you a rebellious teen with a garage band seeking to sweep the underground scene, but find it difficult to tag your team with just the right title?  Maybe you’re an emo fag with a sense of irony looking for just the right play on a B actor’s name?   Maybe you’re still part of some Seattle alternative scene searching the Thesaurus for a catchy, yet offensive name.  Or are you a DJ with a dance/remix set out of this world, but lacking in just the right food reference following “D.J.”  Look no further – Jay and Kid B are longtime music industry insiders, so we know how the game is played and what cookie-cutter formula works.  Our patented method of generating unused band names is sure to rocket you noise makers to the top of the charts!  Just choose from the list below, or, once you’ve discovered the pattern, create your own!

How we do it:

The Rockadore 6660 inputs high tech megabyte mainframe algorithms that pair words, bits and data signature electronics together and spits them out!

The Rockadore 6660 inputs high tech megabyte mainframe algorithms that pair words, bits and data signature electronics together and spits them out!

Choose your own musical adventure! - Examples:

Ronnie and The Uhaul Trailers, tonic glove, gunt, skunk bullet, smell raiders, dicks of soul, invisible fiend, the mists fits, chunk diddly, breakfast champs, tricks for kids, tribe called queer, air biscuit, dj touchebag, cereal killers, sir ass, Ciggy Scardust, David Ho-ey, goober peace, rev. up rush, Lima bean dreamers, Skidney beans, the bladder scanners, Fearlobes, Dottie ruckus and the American screamers, Britney Acne, camel toe jam, Wyoming warlords, beat hump now, scratch n riff, pouty Arabians, snob slobber, dj iq and the retardz, Shroom groom, fumblers of the left handed path, bride of Skankenstein, nfl on LSD, the slow kids, short bus boogie, the hoarse whisperer, don turncoat and the yellow bellies, Pepto Von Bismarck, banana scam, cry wind, poke a hontas, unipopcorn, the mkultras, help me cool me, hello skelter, cat breath, insolent Phatulence, rumpus riders, teen cattle prod, knives of Tallahassee, snob goblins, bell bivy divas, left handed heck, the overdrawn bank accounts

"We ARE Gust of Hair. Thanks, Jay!" -Gust of Hair

“We ARE Gust of Hair. Thanks, Jay!” -Gust of Hair

machine gun orgy, stank jaw, eyes wide shucks, homeless hipsters, otter thought, lollipop trollop, goon nudity, bologna boomerang, beat feeler and the dipshits, Betty Hinn and the fresh spirits, dj sticky pits, mr. Mc feel me, sex of ocean, cussing heart, slush cunt, the slow-cones, hellions of mint, the obgy enemies, fuckbucket, sickey mouse trap, sweet serious, gust of hair, fade to Barack, delicate horn, balding Whisp, sensitive slouch, heel, Hu!, janitor boyz, dj milquetoast and the crunchy lunch, captain coon bomb’s laser manifesto, esoteric kneecap, dickola tesla and the electronic vibrators, tramp camp logistical, the cunt stash apparatus, the nymphtones, sausage psy op orchestra, carot tarrot, the Fannypack elimination, spandex nightmare, horse in tights, wings of gnarlya, mystic movement of the downtrodden dolphin, milky vanilli, Pegasus patchouli, Peggy breath and the virginia slims, soul smell linger, Trenchcoat toast, rubber band grand, hemophiliac hucksters, DJ Rational and the Yogurt Yogis, touch of tongue, tater tot trumpet, tweet tweet terrorist!, pterodactyl scrotum

the porn pork proposition, intercourse instructors, rooster border cartel, declaration of indifference, apathy catechism, butt, weirding rainbow, legion of indecision, inch by inch, special forces milkshake, measles on wheels, stiffy bump, lewd laceration, sag-atha Christie, droop breast, failed figure, murder she hoped, dungosaur, floppy mastodon, dr. Flute great, China Bagina, vajayjay Fadd, dick dust, skin of mt Rushmore, body fluid riot, Humpsack of Notre Dave, dr. No and dj clit, Edward Cung and the Fruit Pumpers, macro machete, darlings of mung, Pythagorean dung, math titties, rat tail rapists, hummmburger, we don’t, lazy tag, wounded talent, raise me up bubble, dirty dirty dirty, hard corn, path to corn, essprite, wirescream, trail of dud, subtraction nipple, boo!, Howard the Dutch, fat yammer, canned thrust, ferocious posture

"I thought it was a bunch of random words and nonsense, but Jay was able to give it an esoteric meaning, and now my all-girl flute-a-fone band is opening for N Sync!" -The Hope Goats

“I thought it was a bunch of random words and nonsense, but Jay was able to give it an esoteric meaning, and now my all-girl flute-a-fone band is opening for N Sync!” -The Hope Goats

Chuck Buddies, The Sylvan Burning Institute, Netfux Subscription, A Cringeworthy Lady’s Night, Remember MTVs?, The Vericose Vains, Poochy and the Humperdinks, The Shrew Man Group, Commie Chung, Air Matress Distress, Murphy Marries Bush Bitch, Tiiight!, The Quads, Condeleeza Rize, Smelly Belly and the Furry Fellas, The Jackson Four, Nahrwall Conspiracy, Lumbar Punctures, 3 on A Meathook, Your Brother Mother and Bear, Smarty Pants, The Wabash Cannonnball, Jam Comedy Def, Madcap Claptrap, Richie Bitch, My Pants, Ed Wood if He Could, Shitty Band Night, The Wilford Brimleys, Cruise 2: Speed Control, Bitch Be Fugly, Nnfected Toe, Hustler Magazine Recall, Crude Oil Postcards, The Groovy Groovers, Shit a Brick, Two Tone Cone, The Breakfast Shlub, The Pipe Cracks, Root Beer Nation, Pleathur Jackets, Crime After Crime, Yo Momma Done Told Me, Hurts Don’t It?, Best of the Best, You suck, The Friar Tuck’s, Ouch!, Grody Commode Continue reading

The “Bin Laden Raid” is the Plot of Navy Seals (1990)

Original Cinema Quad Poster - Movie Film PostersBy: Jay

I have highlighted fake news recently, and in a fit of 80s mania, I decided to watch the Charlie Sheen/Michael Biehn Navy Seals because I had never seen it.  Although made in 1990, it was still in that gray area of 80s-90s transition, where there is little differentiation.  Hilariously, it quickly became apparent that Seals was more than it appeared.  Like the rest of the 80s military recruitment films such as Top Gun and Stripes, it is pure propaganda designed to dupe morons into thinking that signing up for the Navy would equal a life like the absurd portrayal of the Seals in the film.  And if you can imagine it, Navy Seals is far worse than Top Gun.  One can easily picture the Pentagon saying to Hollywood, “Look, we like that Top Gun thing – it did wonders for recruitment numbers following the drop of the draft.  Here’s a few less million, though, and see if you can slap together something really quick with that Sheen guy.”

There’s a lot of comedy to be had in Navy Seals, but the big reveal is this: it looks to be the plot of the equally cheesy B-movie known as the real-life Bin Laden compound raid.  One of the greatest frauds in the history of mainstream media is the bin Laden raid, which managed to dupe the majority of the childlike populace in Amerika.  A year or so after, throngs of people swarmed to bookstores to buy the absurd Seal Team Six book that supposedly described in detail how the daring mission was accomplished, along with a preposterous propaganda film, Zero Dark Thirty.   The fact that the film and book and raid came so close together and constituted such a perfect ratings boost for Obama seemed lost on most of the kindergarten public.

Readers of JaysAnalysis are not so easily duped.  Having tracked these frauds and hoaxes by the media magii for a while now, we have watched scam after scam, from North Korea to bin Laden, to you name it.  Like Katniss’ realization in Mockingjay, it is quickly becoming apparent that the Capitol regularly fakes news.  Now, the only real debate is to what quantitative degree is our news fake.  With Navy Seals we have a clear scenario that parallels the bin Laden fairy tale so closely that it is hard to accept mere coincidence.  Since we know the bin Laden story is pure bull, and since we know Hollywood is intimately involved in propaganda and staging events for the military industrial complex (and has been for a long time), it is not hard to believe that the news story behind the famed killing of bin laden was simply a recycled awful script from a 1990 Sheen film.

What Mac & Me is to E.T., Navy Seals is to Top Gun, though Top Gun is no good.

Navy Seal base in the film with the compound model.

We don’t really need a lengthy analysis of the plot, simply because there isn’t much of one.  What plot does exist is very simple: America is at war with Islamic radicals, and the Seals must extract the bin Laden-style boogeymen before they attain more stinger missiles.  Two Al Qaeda-ish leaders are tracked down in Beirut.  While the first is extracted from his compound, the main villain cannot be, and the film ends with a fight between Sheen and the bin Laden-esque villain.  In a hilarious twist of irony, the villain is given an impromptu burial at sea, as Sheen drowns him.  Just like in “reality,” we were told by the media that the compound was raided by the Seals with bin Laden captured and given a burial at sea.   As you can see, the model and the picture in the picture above from the film are very similar to the supposed model the Pentagon designed before the “raid.”

The Bin Laden "Compound" Model

The Bin Laden “Compound” Model

Continue reading

Jays Analysis on Stefan and/or Joe Rogan?

Libertarian Stefan Molyneux.

Libertarian Stefan Molyneux.

Several readers have suggested a debate with Stefan Molyneux on theism and/or a discussion with Joe Rogan on some such topic. Shows that have large audiences will not generally invite a guest on without significant interest. So, if you would like to see this, send Stefan and/or Joe Rogan a tweet or message. Thanks!

Twitter: @JoeRogan @freedomainradio

JaysAnalysis Interviews Comedian Chris Crofton

A picture of the comedian, Chris Crofton.

A picture of the comedian, Chris Crofton.

Jay’s Analysis was fortunate enough to interview Nashville comedian Christ Crofton. In this laffy interview, Chris sounds off on a host of issues, including the Obama administration and its track record, American idiocracy and indifference, the NSA spying, the ongoing state of war, Bill Hicks, East Nashville hipsterism, standup comedy, and his own best and worst experiences as a professional comedian.

Chris Crofton is aptly called “a comic’s comic.” He has done standup in clubs nationwide and opened for comic greats, Louie CK and Bob Odenkirk, as well as appearing in Harmony Korine’s “Trash Humpers.” Chris presently hosts the Chris Crofton Show.

Check out The Chris Crofton Show here.

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Check out Jay’s Analysis’ other interviews here.

JaysAnalysis Interviews Dooms Chapel Horror Director John Holt

It is, in fact, coming...

It is, in fact, coming…

I was able to track down The Dooms Chapel Horror director, John Holt for an interview, since he was filming locally.  In the interview, we discuss the evolution from the short film to the production, his own ideas and tastes, as well as my own pitch to create a horror film about the life of Stanley Kubrick – as a werewolf.  Fun interview!

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Follow The Dooms Chapel Horror on Facebook here

On Twitter here

Check out JaysAnalysis’ other interviews here!

JaysAnalysis Interviews Game of Thrones’ Tommy Patterson

Jay’s Analysis brings you a new interview with The New York Times’ #1 Best Selling Game of Thrones graphic novel artist, Tommy Patterson.  Tommy Patterson is a rising star in the comic world, with a wealth of work under his belt already, from the Jim Henson Company’s Farscape to George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones, now an Emmy-winning HBO series. In this interview we discuss Tommy’s upbringing, life in a small town, high school hijinks, university nonsense and breaking into the industry.  From there, we discuss philosophy and the subject matter of the new world order and the Illuminati.  From conspiracy theories to the trivium and quadrivium, Tommy gives us some silliness on hair metal, some insight into his worldview and the relationship of the individual’s psychological progression and its relation to the work the artist produces as an aesthetician.  Take note – Tommy’s star is on the ascendant!

Game of Thrones reached #1 on the New York Times' Best Seller list.

Game of Thrones reached #1 on the New York Times’ Best Seller list.

To contact or follow Tommy, harass him on his Twitter here

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Approaching 500k Views: Help Support Jay’s Analysis

Walk away from so-called "mainstream media."  Support Jay's Analysis.

Walk away from so-called “mainstream media.” Support Jay’s Analysis.

As Jay’s Analysis continues to expand, it’s time to ask for your support.  Independent media and research is an almost full-time job, with little to no support from those that operate inside the “system,” which is still a majority of the population.  The so-called mainstream media takes your money through forced bailouts and gives a hefty portion to propaganda outlets like MSNBC that then feed you lies and deception.  Instead of supporting the system that seeks your own enslavement, consider supporting unique, independent media sites like Jay’s Analysis that include satire, geo-politics, news, pop culture and literary analysis.

In supporting Jay’s Analysis, your money is not wasted: real journalism and analysis results in a big price for those that choose to do it – it can damage our careers and reputations, but the truth is worth more than a million mainstream media lies and deceptions.  Combined with my previous site, Jay’s Analysis has been able to garner almost 1 million hits – that means hundreds of thousands of people have been influenced by the information researched and gathered here.   We’ve been able to break national news, as well as interview high profile individuals – and we want to do more!  Writing and doing this research is an invaluable service with little to no monetary gain to those that contribute.  You don’t need a PayPal Account to donate below, but any amount is appreciated – from $5 to 5 billion!  Help Jay’s Analysis maintain its growing status by remaining up and running, as we expand from almost a ten thousand views a week to twenty, as the growth curve promises.

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BREAKING: Busted! Totally Staged and Hilarious North Korean Photos

Remember Rumsfeld's hilarious Bin Laden "Fortress" that looks like a picture from Highlight's Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

Remember Rumsfeld’s hilarious Bin Laden “Fortress” that looks like a picture from Highlight’s Magazine? This stuff is the same level.

By: Jay

You Saw it First on JaysAnalysis!

Remember – the famous Situation Room Photo is admittedly fake!

Breaking – White House claims North Korea has no Missile Capability!

I can’t stop laughing.  From the get-go Jay’s Analysis called the North Korean theater operations recently occurring as a staged event, pointing out that anything real that happened would be by the machinations of the western establishment itself.  Last night I became entranced by North Korean media photo ops and ended up staying up researching these hilarious pictures, getting no sleep.  What became evident after several hours of photo analysis was how ridiculous the images are.  But what’s amazing is not just how absurd the pictures are upon inspection, but how big these images are in the media hype and the total lack of any analysts, journalists or “intelligence agents” to call bullshit.  Where are the foreign analysts?  Apparently, the system thinks the public is so utterly inept that not even the middle management class of “journalists” and “intellectuals” can figure out that these are completely absurd “threats” insofar as what we see presented.

Business Insider posted a series of images from the Associated Press that purport to be a “Top Secret Rocket Facility” where North Korea launched its supposed satellite.  The rest of the media has followed suit, hyping this international threat, arguing that North Korea can “nuke” other nations.  But an inspection of these images shows a host of stuff so stupid you can’t help but giggle.  Furthermore, these images are reminiscent of other more recent comedic mass black ops: the Bin Laden “raid” on his secret “compound” that featured water guns and an old man who is supposedly Bin Laden watching a crappy TV with an old cable box. 

Bin Laden's secret "compound" where international criminal operations are masterminded with the latest technology.

Bin Laden’s secret “compound” where international criminal machinations are organized with the latest technology.

The first question that should be asked by people with any brain cells left to rub together is, how does a country that the media says is a “hermit nation” closed off to the West manage to have all these picture perfect photo ops that filter out to all the western media?  Just like with Bin Laden, who was wanted in connection to the 1993 bombings, no one can seem to “get inside” North Korea, and “secret videos” have to be shot that “leak” to tabloids.  The last few weeks a spate of bizarre videos have surfaced all over the web, the most recent of which is the “slave labor” of North Korean where a small child supposedly dies because troops are busy unloading armaments.  Two utterly absurd facts emerge here.  First, we can’t see anything but what looks like a stuffed jumpsuit used for Halloween decoration in someone’s yard.  This is supposedly a small child, yet he’s wearing adult sized boots? Hilarious. Second, the wording of the source in the Daily Mirror is equally as witty, as it reads like a tenth grader writing a journal:



“A child of around 10 sits dying of starvation by the side of the road while just yards away soldiers load enough rice on to trucks to feed families for weeks.

As the young boy slumps on the grimy kerb in his filthy, oversized army jacket, locals stroll past zombie-style without even glancing in his direction or displaying an ounce of pity for his wretched plight. Continue reading

Flashback: JaysAnalysis Co-Breaks National News Story

By: Jay

I wanted to document this since JaysAnalysis is exploding, gaining readers and attention.  JaysAnalysis is coming to influence intelligent and renowned readers more and more due to its active and accurate analysis of several crucial spheres: politics, religion, pop culture, philosophy, and economics.  So tell your friends! In 2010 during the Rand Paul campaign JaysAnalysis, A. McIntosh and Capitalist Banner worked together to break the national news story documenting campaign shenanigans that gained Rand Paul several poll points, helping him defeat Democrat Jack Conway. The viral news story ran consistently for a week on Fox national news on Neil Cavuto, Megyn Kelly, Laura Ingraham, Bill O’Reilley, and also on the Alex Jones Show, as well as going viral on the web.

“Jay’s Analysis” Mentioned on Michigan Radio


Thanks to PaleoRadio and Jeremiah Bannister for the plug for Jay’s Analysis on his recent radio show in Grand Rapids, MI.  A reader sent me this odd exchange on the topic of drones.  In the midst of two interesting “conspiracy calls” relating to Jesse Ventura, the 80s film Predator from “Lloyd,” and a second caller obsessed with Taco Bell and aliens, Bannister plugs the site as “excellent” at 48:00-56:00 minutes in.  Thanks, Mr. Bannister.

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