In the wake of a fury of media attention, fake liberal propaganda and smear tactics, Dr. Rand Paul of Kentucky has now been identified as the origin of World Wars I and II–and now III! Stay tuned for updates – no evidence is needed. Some bloggers are also turning up evidence of Rand’s complicity in the JFK assassination. Don’t listen to Paul Joseph Watson, who talks about Paul’s poll surge today.
On a related note, he is also in the midst of a “heated” brothel controversy. It turns out, Dr. Rand Paul has been running every single house of ill repute in Kentucky and Illinois, all the while attending to patients under the cover of being a “doctor.” Some are speculating that Paul, in fact, invented the world’s oldest profession.
Not only is this not true, it shows the length and depth to which the establishment left media has had to go to, to smear the obviously clean Rand. In fact, it’s a good gauge of how authentic Rand is. Originally, Rachel Maddow pulled the dirty trick of publishing a transcript where he answered the question about audio technicalities with “yes,” as if this was a yes to Rand purportedly seeking to get rid of the civil rights act.
The left has now proven, in their great integrity and moral authority, that Rand Paul is the worst entity, this side of the netherworld. Indeed, dark powers were invoked and a portal was reportedly opened, and what stepped through was not Satan or Stalin, but Rand Paul. The most striking example of Paul’s evil, however, is that Rand Paul is now known to control Al-Qaeda and has, through his semi-omnipresent powers of manipulation, planted the ink cartridges that sorta kinda look like ”bombs.” Paul, on the eve of his campaign, flew clandestinely to the UK and orchestrated a massive international crime syndicate-style operation that has reported links to big companies like Xerox. Some have seen a connection between the blackness of the printer ink, and the blackness of Paul’s soul.
It is high time we stopped this menace, and voted for average, every day shady characters like Jack Conway, who sticks to normal questionable activities. Vote for the good bad guys–good bad guys like Jack Conway. Remember – a vote for Rand Paul is a vote towards a theocracy – not of God, but of lord Aqua Buddha.